12 Mar Real Life Shortcuts to Relationship Success!
This Q & A has been learned and earned through my years of relationship training including my own adventures with online dating, and enjoying a stable, fulfilling relationship. The tips you are about to read are proven shortcuts to easier and and more fulfilling path to love.
- Who talks and who listens more on your first dates?
ANSWER: Both! A great way you can start developing a connection which each other is to open up about yourself and even show a little vulnerability on your 1st dates… And be mindful of being so intent on showing up as a great empathetic listener that you forget to talk!
- How do gender differences make for tricky communication?
ANSWER: In general – men tend to be more action-oriented and prefer direct communication. Women are often feeling oriented, indirect (drop hints that men don’t always pick up on, sometimes leading to miscommunications). Clear verbal communication works well and maybe less dropping hints. Example: Instead of assuming your love interest will plan the next date, suggest something you would like to do.
- For Women – How do you choose the best time to talk about something?
ANSWER: if you are talking to your guy when he is focused on a task (cooking, watching TV), he may not even respond or just briefly. I have seen that many men prefer to focus on one thing at a time, whereas women tend to be able to multi-task easier. Don’t take it personally and know that we all have our strengths. Stop talking or hold on to your thoughts and bring up the subject later when there are less distractions.
- For Men: How do you know how to best respond when she talks about a challenge she is having?
ANSWER: When your lady says she wants to talk about a problem she is having, ask her before she starts if she wants you to just listen – or to help her solve it. And if it is just to listen (and it does help us to just offload by talking about it), adding a few validation phrases like “that must have been tough”, or “you handled that well”, etc. – will go a long way.
- What do you do when your partner walks away or tunes out after you bring up a problem in the relationship you want to resolve?
ANSWER: If they give a brief response or even walk away, just let them go and do not continue to talk or follow them to another area of the house. They probably need time to absorb what went on in order to figure things out, especially after the preoccupations of a long day at work. It will go a long way if you respect your partner’s space and need for time to think and there is a better chance for a favorable outcome a few hours or a few days later.
- Do you feel your partner is overreacting to your refusal to do things they want you to do – that you don’t think is important?
ANSWER: If every time your partner asks you to pick up your stuff or put the dishes in the dishwasher and you argue why that is not important – you are chipping away at the foundation of your relationship. You erode your partners sense of trust and safety with you, and they feel belittled, and their needs minimized – because you try to make them wrong about who they are and their requests.
Instead, do the small stuff out of love for your amazing partner. It proves you are listening and care about what makes them happy – especially if their love language is “acts of service”, as per point number 7!
- Do you know and show your partner love based on how what they need to feel loved?
ANSWER: A shortcut to this powerful tool for living a loving relationship is found on www.5lovelanguages.com. Both of you should do it and will help you identify the ways you each feel the most loved and respected. Who doesn’t want to give and receive love in more meaningful ways and even grow closer? With this great relationship base, miscommunication and festering frustrations can be minimized and love and harmony can flourish. This works whether you are a new couple or been together for years!